Lessons in Motherhood

I happened upon Sophia playing with her container of wipes.

Hey, What’s This?

Mmm…These Are Delicious

A Tasty Treat for Sure

Making a Use for the Wipes in my Pants

Uh Oh…a Little Help Mom

Post Poop Diaper Refusal

After the TV was safely (and straightly) hung above the fireplace and the new speakers were purchased, there was much additional work to be done to properly connect the various and sundry electronic devices that we “need” in our living room. For the most part, those were all quickly connected and life in the digital household got back to normal, at least temporarily.

Within days something with the system began to go horribly horribly wrong. Our receiver (that’s the thing that controls the speaker volume and through which all other electronics must flow) began to randomly shut itself off. You’d be watching a movie and boom everything was gone. Not exactly ideal for our viewing which, of course, is already impaired by the fact that the TV is above the fireplace (I just don’t think he’ll ever get over that).

So, the receiver was randomly shutting down for no reason whatsoever, and over a period of many months (yes, I said months), Luke determines that the new speakers that we had to buy to fit this new setup do not play nicely with the receiver. Why we didn’t know this when we bought said electronics and why two seemingly normal pieces of equipment can’t get along is beyond me. Perhaps, the receiver had a thing for the old speakers and is now just lashing out at the new speakers because they prefer Metallica to his Hootie and the Blowfish (not that we listen to either). That’s my explanation anyway.

I know that you’ll be shocked by what I’m about to say next because you never would have guessed it in your whole life, but are you ready for this. The Solution = We have to buy a new receiver. I know…you’re shocked. You’re thinking, “Alisa, how could you possibly need a new piece of equipment? Don’t you guys hold on to your electronics for decades until they spontaneously combust?” Yeah, tell that to our new speakers, computer, universal remote, and laptop, right?

Anywho, so we need a new receiver. Wait. Let me rephrase that. We have NEEDED a new receiver now for…ummm…hmmm…how long has it been now? Months, years, decades – I don’t know. A long freakin’ time in our world, and do you know how we have been surviving all of this time without a receiver? By listening to the sound that comes out of the TV. What?!?!?!? You heard me. Sound comes out of the TV. Who knew? You can actually listen to the TV right out of the TV. It’s amazing.

Of course, the new speakers are lonely because they’re all like “Dude, why did you bring us here if you aren’t going to feed us some amazing sound. All we’ve gotten to do is fight with your grumpy receiver” But it’s cool because I’ve figured out how to change the volume on the TV using the universal remote. Yeah. I don’t even have to get off of my ass and push the button on the TV (which is what I did for a long time before I gave in and learned how to use the remote. Just like Modern Family). So, I’m cool. No need for a new receiver. We can just continue to use the old receiver as a drink coaster until we move and have to purchase all new equipment for our new living room.

Today, I decided that what this blog really needs is an ongoing series, and what better topic than a chronicle of the adventures of our little DZ. I thought that it would take me several days to compile enough DZ scenarios to put together a week’s worth of material, but guess what? She provided so many DZ moments in one morning that we should be good for quite a while.

Here is episode one – The Chair

No Biggie Just Checkin’ the View

Hmm…I Can’t Quite See

Maybe I Could Just Get a Little Higher

Oh Yeah, That’s Way Better, But…

I Could Probably Get Just a Little Higher

I usually go to the grocery store by myself on the weekends because who wants to drag two crazy girls on a shopping expedition when it’s a wonderful opportunity for Daddy to spend some quality time with them. So, off I went to the grocery store yesterday. Of course, I forgot a list of ingredients that I needed so I called Luke who quickly informed me that the girls were really enjoying their peanut butter crackers. PEANUT BUTTER CRACKERS!?!?!? Sophia can’t have peanut butter; she’s not even one. She could be allergic. Start the car. Get ready to go to the emergency room.

Post Minimal Freak Out – He informed me that she loved them and was chasing her sister around trying to steal more. NO allergic reaction.

Ok fine. She’s not allergic. That came in really handy this morning when she somehow found a peanut M&M on the floor and shoved it in her mouth. Where did a peanut M&M come from? No earthly idea. I don’t even like them!

I planted bulbs in the fall. Guess what…they make flowers in the spring. That’s so cool. Now for some warmer weather please.

Thank goodness my girls are good sleepers, but there’s always an exception to every rule. Last night was the exception. Hailey was up at 1:30, 2:30, and 3:30. Sophia was up at 1:30 and 5:00am.

I don’t know why Hailey was an insomniac last night. First it was “I have to go potty, Mommy.” For that excuse, I’m almost kind of thankful because changing the sheets on a bunk bed is no fun. So, I was fine getting up at 1:30 to handle that situation. What I wasn’t fine with was Sophia then waking up and wanting to eat. My girls just don’t produce like they used to so that meant walking downstairs to make a bottle (now I remember why I breastfed). Six ounces later she was out.

Then, at 2:30 when Hailey came in and said “I’m scared of the dark, Mama,” I had kind of lost my patience. That’s when, in my extra special Mother-of-the-Year kind of way I said, “No your not. You’re never afraid of the dark. Do you want some water?” The water thing was just a distraction because it’s a lot easier to go get her a glass of water than it is to spend 2 hours arguing about the nuances of her room in the dark. Because at 2:30am, there’s only so much arguing that I can handle. And here’s where you’re all judging me because I didn’t just say “Well, why don’t you sleep with Mommy tonight?” I know that would have been the easiest solution and would not have required getting out of bed, but what kind of precedent does that set? Sure, it’s being a bit more considerate of her feelings, but let’s face it then I’m just saying “you’re right the dark is scary so why don’t you just snuggle with Mommy, and I’ll protect you.” Hmm…wonder what will happen the next night when she wakes up?

At 3:30am, there was another call from the girl’s room. That’s when Mommy really was toast. Because you have to realize that I don’t just wake up and take care of them and go right back to sleep. No, because of my chronic worrying disorder (did I mention I get that from my Mother…yeah, I’m talking about you), I’m up for at least 30 minutes quieting my brain back down. So, at 3:30am, all Hailey got was a gentle “it’s time to go back to sleep.” That was it. I didn’t hear from her again until the morning when she was just as bright and chipper as ever and I could barely drag myself downstairs to make breakfast. Motherhood is so great sometimes.

Hailey is all about dancing.  Some of it was probably inspired by the countless hours of Olympic figure skating that she watched.  I don’t know what tipped me of to that connection, maybe the fact that she runs around jumping in the air and saying she’s doing a triple toe.  She also learned the meaning of the word “graceful” the other day, so she’s practicing some form of graceful which requires her to spin around and fall on the floor with a thump.  One time that thump was her nose hitting the floor, and I thought that would be our first trip to the ER right there.

Regardless, there’s a lot of dancing in our house, which I strongly encourage.  I was planning on starting her in dance classes ASAP. Apparently though, I don’t need to find dance classes because the other night we had this little exchange:

Hailey: Mommy, can you call the ballet?

Mommy: I suppose I could call the ballet.  What do you want me to tell them?

Hailey: You could tell them that I know how to ballet.

Mommy: And then what are they going to do, let you dance on the stage with the ballerinas.

Hailey: Yes

Now, this seems like an innocent enough conversation, but I’m a bit of a worrier.  Did you know that about me?  I’m a worry wart?  Yeah, I get it from my mother who is the queen of worrying about things that she can’t control.  So, anyway, this conversation got me wondering if maybe we are giving her too much positive reinforcement.  Maybe we need to find a little more balance between “Your dancing is beautiful” and “You look like a gorilla choking on a banana peel and falling on the floor.”  I’m going to have to consider what the right words are that will encourage her to keep trying, but also let her know that there is much work to be done before you don a tutu and some point shoes.  Hmm…any suggestions on that?

It’s snowing in Atlanta again. I blame Canada.

Can I just say that I don’t do well with chronic pain?  I know it’s a shocker because so many people love to be in pain.  Still, I’ve been through natural childbirth twice, and yet I whine every single night about my back hurting.  It’s been close to 3 weeks now.  I’ve been to the chiropractor and the massage therapist, and I still can’t turn my head to the side.  I’m going to try a new chiropractor this week.  If that doesn’t work, I’m going to do the unthinkable – acupuncture!!

You know what really scares me about this back pain thing?  One simple thought – I AM GETTING OLD!!!!  Crap.  I’m getting old and things are starting to hurt for no reason.  Why?  Why does this happen?  I can’t even blame anyone for this.  It’s just time.  Oh, time, why do you hate me?   The next thing you know I’ll be slathering on the anti-wrinkle cream and saying there’s a draft going straight to my shoulder (that’s what my Grandmother used to say every time we went out to dinner).  Oh, Grandma, I finally feel the draft.  I FEEL THE DRAFT!!!!

Sophia’s First Steps from luke hamilton on Vimeo.

Mark it in the record books – February 26th Sophia Hamilton took her first unassisted steps.  This development is a few months earlier than it was for Hailey, but it brings up an important point which is EVERYTHING IS FASTER with number 2.  Of course, time moves faster because you’re constantly chasing two little critters around, and then you’ve got critter number 2 (in this case, Sophia) who thinks that she should be able to do everything that her sister does.  It’s like she has no internal off switch.  Or even a warning switch.  She just throws it into high gear.

Note to Readers:  That’s a Fast and Furious reference b/c Luke is watching one of those ridiculous movies while I write this.  In fact, you should thank him for this blog because I never would have motivated myself off of the comfy couch to write this for you if it wasn’t for how horrendous this movie is.  I mean, seriously?!?!?!  He drives under a flying gasoline tanker that’s on fire.  Really!?!?!?  Some things go beyond the suspension of disbelief and that is just one of them.

But I digress.  Back to Sophia.  She is a character.  When Hailey was a baby, she was very cautious.  If she was about to do something that could potentially be dangerous, she would look at me for permission.  If I gave her a little frown, she would cease and desist her dangerous behavior.  Sophia just puts her head down and goes.  No looking.  No permission.  This kid is going to break bones.  Multiple bones.  There’s no doubt in my mind about that.  We better up that insurance policy because she’s going to need it.