Lessons in Motherhood

Is it wrong that I just used baby Orajel on a cut on my tongue?

Sometimes it’s really handy to have kids that have all of these random medications. Later I’m going to rub myself down in baby Vicks, pop a few Princess vitamins, and slurp down some pink liquid Tylenol to take the edge off.

See how bored I get when Luke goes out of town? Just another rockin’ Friday night at the Hamilton household.

Untitled from luke hamilton on Vimeo.

After her big performance at school, Hailey was oh so talkative in the car on the way home. This is a quick recounting of my favorite part of the conversation:

Hailey: Mommy, do you remember when I was a little baby and I was inside your belly button?

Me: Yes, Hailey, I remember that.

Hailey: That was so silly. I was in your belly button.

Me: It wasn’t silly.

Hailey: Yes it was. I remember.

Me: You remember being in my belly?

Hailey: Yes.

Me: You can’t possibly remember being in my belly.

Hailey: Yes I do remember.

Me: Ok. Then what was it like?

Hailey: It was dark, and there was a hole where your belly button was.

Me: Look, there’s a funny bird out the window.

Sorry, future Hailey, who may read this one day and wonder why your mother didn’t love you enough to carry on these inane conversations, but I just didn’t know what to do with that one. Distraction seemed like the best option.

There are two teeth coming in on the bottom. You can kind of see them in this picture.

We interrupt this DZ Chronicle for a little Hailey moment. I went to a gigantic consignment sale today – the biggest that I’ve ever been to by far. It was really overwhelming, but I ended up buying a bunch of clothes for the girls, including 10 dresses for Hailey. Of course, there was much squealing and twirling when I walked into the house, but the only item that she wanted to try on immediately was this outfit that I bought her for ballet class, which reminds me that I probably need to sign her up for that soon. Anywho, here are the antics that ensued. Oh, PS: The dark spot on her cheek is where she smashed her face on the side of her bed a few nights ago.

Let Me In

Oops Was That Not the Door?

I happened upon Sophia playing with her container of wipes.

Hey, What’s This?

Mmm…These Are Delicious

A Tasty Treat for Sure

Making a Use for the Wipes in my Pants

Uh Oh…a Little Help Mom

Post Poop Diaper Refusal

After the TV was safely (and straightly) hung above the fireplace and the new speakers were purchased, there was much additional work to be done to properly connect the various and sundry electronic devices that we “need” in our living room. For the most part, those were all quickly connected and life in the digital household got back to normal, at least temporarily.

Within days something with the system began to go horribly horribly wrong. Our receiver (that’s the thing that controls the speaker volume and through which all other electronics must flow) began to randomly shut itself off. You’d be watching a movie and boom everything was gone. Not exactly ideal for our viewing which, of course, is already impaired by the fact that the TV is above the fireplace (I just don’t think he’ll ever get over that).

So, the receiver was randomly shutting down for no reason whatsoever, and over a period of many months (yes, I said months), Luke determines that the new speakers that we had to buy to fit this new setup do not play nicely with the receiver. Why we didn’t know this when we bought said electronics and why two seemingly normal pieces of equipment can’t get along is beyond me. Perhaps, the receiver had a thing for the old speakers and is now just lashing out at the new speakers because they prefer Metallica to his Hootie and the Blowfish (not that we listen to either). That’s my explanation anyway.

I know that you’ll be shocked by what I’m about to say next because you never would have guessed it in your whole life, but are you ready for this. The Solution = We have to buy a new receiver. I know…you’re shocked. You’re thinking, “Alisa, how could you possibly need a new piece of equipment? Don’t you guys hold on to your electronics for decades until they spontaneously combust?” Yeah, tell that to our new speakers, computer, universal remote, and laptop, right?

Anywho, so we need a new receiver. Wait. Let me rephrase that. We have NEEDED a new receiver now for…ummm…hmmm…how long has it been now? Months, years, decades – I don’t know. A long freakin’ time in our world, and do you know how we have been surviving all of this time without a receiver? By listening to the sound that comes out of the TV. What?!?!?!? You heard me. Sound comes out of the TV. Who knew? You can actually listen to the TV right out of the TV. It’s amazing.

Of course, the new speakers are lonely because they’re all like “Dude, why did you bring us here if you aren’t going to feed us some amazing sound. All we’ve gotten to do is fight with your grumpy receiver” But it’s cool because I’ve figured out how to change the volume on the TV using the universal remote. Yeah. I don’t even have to get off of my ass and push the button on the TV (which is what I did for a long time before I gave in and learned how to use the remote. Just like Modern Family). So, I’m cool. No need for a new receiver. We can just continue to use the old receiver as a drink coaster until we move and have to purchase all new equipment for our new living room.

Today, I decided that what this blog really needs is an ongoing series, and what better topic than a chronicle of the adventures of our little DZ. I thought that it would take me several days to compile enough DZ scenarios to put together a week’s worth of material, but guess what? She provided so many DZ moments in one morning that we should be good for quite a while.

Here is episode one – The Chair

No Biggie Just Checkin’ the View

Hmm…I Can’t Quite See

Maybe I Could Just Get a Little Higher

Oh Yeah, That’s Way Better, But…

I Could Probably Get Just a Little Higher

I usually go to the grocery store by myself on the weekends because who wants to drag two crazy girls on a shopping expedition when it’s a wonderful opportunity for Daddy to spend some quality time with them. So, off I went to the grocery store yesterday. Of course, I forgot a list of ingredients that I needed so I called Luke who quickly informed me that the girls were really enjoying their peanut butter crackers. PEANUT BUTTER CRACKERS!?!?!? Sophia can’t have peanut butter; she’s not even one. She could be allergic. Start the car. Get ready to go to the emergency room.

Post Minimal Freak Out – He informed me that she loved them and was chasing her sister around trying to steal more. NO allergic reaction.

Ok fine. She’s not allergic. That came in really handy this morning when she somehow found a peanut M&M on the floor and shoved it in her mouth. Where did a peanut M&M come from? No earthly idea. I don’t even like them!