Lessons in Motherhood

I was talking to someone at work Friday about Sophia being one, and she said to me “that’s a very active age.” I didn’t know how to politely tell her that she had just made the understatement of the CENTURY! It’s not an “active age”…it’s a crazy looney-bins insane age. It’s a go until you drop age. It’s a how-many-things-can-I-destroy-and-how-many-people-can-I-terrorize-in-the-next-10-minutes age. It’s a Mommy needs a drink age. It’s a do-they-make-dog-crates-big-enough-for-you? age.

Here’s just a taste of some of the ridiculous things that I say to Sophia in a typical 24 hour period (no let’s say 1 hour period because that is truly more accurate)…

You don’t need to taste every stone in the driveway before we go inside.
You can’t climb the stairs by yourself
Furthermore, you definitely can’t go down the stairs by yourself.
Don’t eat dirt out of the plant
Don’t climb on the back of the couch like that
Don’t tackle your sister when she’s coloring
Don’t eat those crayons
Don’t eat that hairball off the floor. That’s nasty!
Did you just pull that hairball off of the cat?
Stop eating dirt from the plant!
Did you just climb up the stool by yourself?
Can you please stop eating the dirt out of the plant?
How are you planning on getting down from there?
Those wine bottles are going to hurt you if you drop them on your toes.
Are those my sunglasses that you’re eating?
That’s Daddy’s mouse that you are smashing on the window!
Don’t slide off the bed on your head
Shockingly, books are not for chewing or ripping.
Why would you throw your milk cup at the dog?
Is it time for you to go to bed yet?

I’m sure that Hailey was the same way. Was she the same way? Was it just cute when she did it? Was I like “look Hailey is learning what dirt tastes like, isn’t that cute?” What is happening here? I think that I’m going to have to start reading my Buddhism for Mothers book again because I think that’s what helped me get through this age with Hailey.